A Job Well Done!
by AnakinsOnlyAngel
Summary: *FINALLY updated.. WOW!* Two Star Wars obsessed friends somehow manage to capture Obi-Wan and Anakin and torture them. R/R please!
1. Vader's Pink Dress

Leah: Whoa.. Is that Obi-Wan?  
  
Tina: . ohmigod, it is!  
  
Leah runs toward the two figures screaming "OBI-WAAAAAN!!!"  
  
Tina rolls her eyes and follows. Obi-Wan catches sight of Leah, and begins to run. But he trips over his robe. The other figure bent over his Master, and his hood fell off. Tina's mouth drops open. it was Anakin!  
  
Tina: "Ana.nanana.Anananana... Ana. A.A..A."  
  
Leah, dragging Obi-Wan along, runs over to Tina and slaps her.  
  
Tina: ANAKIN!!!  
  
Anakin's eyes grow wide, and he ignites his lightsaber. Tina didn't stop, but instead, when she got to Anakin, she reached over and turned it off.  
  
Anakin, flabbergasted: HEY!!!  
  
Obi-Wan: Uh.. Ooookay.  
  
Leah and Tina bring the two to their house. Then they tie the poor Jedi to chair, and began to torture them.  
  
Tina, grabbing Anakin's lightsaber: Hey. a lightsaber!  
  
She attempts to ignite it. After several times failing, she turns it towards her face and presses the button. The brilliant blue light flashes just near her face, cutting her Padawan Braid off.  
  
Tina, dismayed: I guess I'm a Master now..  
  
Anakin and Obi-Wan stare at each other, horrified.  
  
Anakin: I pity any Padawans you ever take on!  
  
Tina looks at Anakin, offended.  
  
Tina: Remember, I HAVE your lightsaber!  
  
Leah, Obi-Wan, and Anakin all start screaming as Tina runs around in circles, whacking blindly with the lightsaber  
  
Leah: Hey.. Wait a minute.. I have one too!  
  
Leah grabs Obi-Wan's lightsaber and ignites it.  
  
Leah: OoOo, pretty colors! pokes lightsaber blade OW! Pokes again ow!  
  
Tina looks amazed and joins her at poking Obi-Wan's lightsaber. Obi-Wan and Anakin gape at them, and suddenly, they here a voice.  
  
Voice: Stop, you must, poking the lightsaber!  
  
Obi-Wan: Master Yoda????  
  
Sure enough, Yoda popped out of Leah's shoe.  
  
Leah: YODA! Get back in there!  
  
Yoda glares at Leah  
  
Yoda: Tired I am, of being in your shoe! Reek your shoes do!  
  
Leah is offended, and begins to cry. Yoda rolls his eyes and tosses her a cookie. Leah smiles and begins to sing. Tina and Yoda cover their ears, and Anakin and Obi-Wan groan. Leah stops, and sits down, munching her cookie.  
  
Tina: THAT was painful!  
  
All the Jedi nod in agreement. Leah pouts for a moment, then she turns on music, Yoda begins to strip tease and sing.  
  
Yoda: To sexy for my robe, I am!  
  
Everybody jumps up and begins to dance. Yoda is obviously the next Elvis! Then, Darth Vader walks in.  
  
Vader: Anakin. I am YOU!  
  
Anakin: NOOOOOOO!!!! I will never turn!  
  
Yoda stops dancing, and begins to nod.  
  
Yoda: Turn to the dark side, you will!  
  
Anakin begins to cry. Tina walks over and gives him a hug, and then she brings out her makeup kit..  
  
Anakin: NOO!  
  
Tina: MUAHA! cackles wildly  
  
Tina and Leah begin to smother makeup on poor Anakin and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan takes a bite of the Chap Stick.  
  
Obi-Wan: YUM! Its Rachesta flavored!!  
  
Tina looks at the Chap Stick, and takes a bite  
  
Tina: No, this is strawberry!  
  
An Obi-Wan look disappointed, but brightens when Leah brings out the dresses..  
  
Anakin: I GET THE PINK ONE!  
  
Obi-Wan: NO! I do!!!  
  
Anakin and Obi-Wan continue to bicker, when Yoda interrupts  
  
Yoda: Mine the pink one is!  
  
Deep breathing interrupts, and all the Jedi turn to see Vader modeling the fluffy pink dress. Anakin looks smug.  
  
Anakin: If that's me, then I got the dress! he giggles hysterically  
  
Obi-Wan, disgusted, mutters: I'd look prettier. If only Leah didn't take my lightsaber.  
  
Leah looks up and grins. Obi-Wan screams, Leah had painted his lightsaber orange with purple stripes!!  
  
Obi-Wan: PURPLE AND ORANGE DON'T GO TOGETHER!!!  
  
Leah: Yea! Look who's talking! You where brown all the time!  
  
Obi-Wan retreats, looking offended. Leah smiles smugly. Anakin looks down at his clothing.  
  
Anakin: I'm stylish! I'm wearing leather!  
  
Tina: Yes, and you are hot!  
  
Anakin looks frightened, and screams. Tina grabs him and begins to sing love songs. Anakin faints.  
  
Tina: NOO! I killed him!  
  
Obi-Wan: YAY! I never wanted a Padawan anyways.  
  
Anakin opens his eyes, and Tina, Leah, Yoda, Vader, and Obi-Wan all scream.  
  
Anakin: I heard that!  
  
Obi-Wan, ginning like a loon: Ooh, come on, you know I was joking! nervous laughter  
  
Anakin opened his mouth to protest, but the phone rang. Vader, still wearing the dress, picked it up.  
  
Vader: What is thy bidding, my Master?  
  
Voice: Yub Yub!  
  
Vader: Yub? Yub, Yub Yub!  
  
Ewok: Yub! Yub Yub, Yub!  
  
Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, and Anakin cocks his head.  
  
Yoda: Know I did not that speak Vader does Ewok!  
  
Leah: Whoa, Vader's Master is an Ewok!  
  
Vader looks back defensively: So what? You Master was a.a.SITH!  
  
Leah, amused: I didn't have a Master!  
  
Vader stuck his tongue out. Leah's eyes grow wide.  
  
Leah: WOW! How did you do that with your helmet on?  
  
Vader, shrugging: I dunno.  
  
Anakin: Ooookay.. Anyways. can you untie us?  
  
Tina: NO! NEVER! NEVER! MUAHA! runs off into the distance cackling wildly  
  
Anakin: Well, I guess there goes my future wife. Sigh why would I ever marry her?  
  
Leah: Because she'll make you.  
  
Anakin: Oh, that makes sense.  
  
Obi-Wan, eating Chap Stick: Are you sure this isn't Rachesta fruit?  
  
Leah starts to answer, when Tina comes running back, holding Jar Jar. Everyone groans.  
  
Leah: Tiiina!  
  
Tina: What? He might come in handy!  
  
Obi-Wan: Please, not another pathetic life form!  
  
Tina: I'm not Qui-Gon, so shut-up!  
  
Voice: But I am Qui-Gon!  
  
Everybody looks around confused.  
  
Voice: Up here, dink bats!  
  
They all look up to see the ghost of Qui-Gon flirting with a female ghost.  
  
Anakin: Mom? When did you die?  
  
Obi-Wan: MAAASTER!! PLEASE TRAIN ANAKIN FOR ME! HE IS A PAIN IN THE BUTT!  
  
Anakin looks at Obi-Wan offended: I am not!  
  
Obi-Wan: are too!  
  
Anakin: are not!  
  
Obi-Wan: are too!  
  
Anakin Are no-  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost: ENOUGH! You're BOTH pains in the butts!  
  
Shmi's ghost: Right! Oh, and Ani, I died by some Tusken Raiders. WHERE was my brave Jedi son? Huh? Huh? Off flirting with the QUEEN of Naboo?  
  
Anakin blushes: Yes..  
  
Shmi's ghost fly's over and drapes Anakin across her knees, and begins to spank him.  
  
Anakin: OW! OW! Mommy!  
  
Shmi's ghost: Yes, Ani?  
  
Anakin: NO! NO! IT'S ANAKIN! I AM NOT A BABY! ANI IS A BABY NAME!  
  
Anakin begins to scream and kick. Obi-Wan rolls his eyes.  
  
Obi-Wan: See what you put me through, Master? I have to DEAL with the brat!  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost: Shut-up! I had to deal with you!  
  
Obi-Wan, dismayed: but..but.. I thought you loved me!  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost: Yea, but you let that Sith kill me!  
  
Obi-Wan, blubbering: I didn't mean to! It was all Anakin's fault!  
  
Anakin: HEY! That's MY line! I'm supposed to blame all my troubles on YOU! NOT the other way around!  
  
Jar Jar, who had amazingly remained quiet all this time, decided to speak up.  
  
Jar Jar: Weird yousa twosa are! Muy Muy weird!  
  
Tina, offended: Anakin is NOT weird!  
  
Jar Jar: Yes, hesa is!  
  
Tina: NOO!!!!! grabs Jar Jar I'm Crazy, I'm a Star Wars freak, and I HAVE A LIGHTSABER! SO BACK OFF!  
  
Everybody screams, except for the two ghosts, who continue their flirting. Obi-Wan noticed them flirting.  
  
Obi-Wan: MASTER! I thought I was the only man for you!  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost: YOU said that, young one! I said that I prefer females!  
  
Obi-Wan, shocked: I didn't mean in THAT way!  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost, relieved: Good! I'd be scared if you did!  
  
Jar Jar: Yousa all weird! Mesa the only normal one here! Ooo, is dat food mesa sees?  
  
Jar Jar runs off after a small rodent. Everybody cheers.  
  
Leah: What's that?  
  
They all look to where Leah was pointing. Luke and Leia emerge, holding hands.  
  
Luke: Hey dudes!  
  
Tina: DUDETTE to you!  
  
Leia: right, Hun! No need for sexism!  
  
Luke,: Sorry! Luke and Leia kiss  
  
Tina and Leah look at eachother, horrified.  
  
Tina: LUKE! Did you know that she's your sister?  
  
Leia: WHAT!!!!?????? AHHHHHHH!!!!! runs around in circles until she hits a wall, then gets knocked out of conscience  
  
Luke: Really? Damn! She is a hottie!  
  
Obi-Wan, grossed out: you. kissed your.. Sister?  
  
Luke: Ew. I guess I did! Oh well.  
  
Luke spots Leah, and waltzes over.  
  
Luke: Hey cutie!  
  
Leah screams, and hides behind Tina. Luke shrugs, and walks over to Tina.  
  
Luke: Hey, girly! If your friend doesn't want me, I'm sure you do! I'm HOT!  
  
Anakin, suddenly jealous: HEY! That's MY woman!  
  
Tina, beaming: Right! So BACK OFF!  
  
She runs and unties Anakin. Anakin hugs her.  
  
Anakin: If I look past your. weirdness, you're a great girl!  
  
Tina: I know!  
  
Leah: HEY! Obi-Wan, you're my future husband!  
  
Obi-Wan, shocked: WHAT? I'm like, 20 years older than you!  
  
Leah: So?  
  
Obi-Wan: NOO! I'm.. uh.. Taken!  
  
Leah, disappointed: damn. 


	2. ObiWan's feet

Leah sat in fetal position in the corner, pouting because Obi-Wan didn't lover her. Tina had moved up really close to poor tied up Obi-Wan and was staring at his cheek. Anakin stood not far behind, jealously sulking.  
  
Tina: Is your beard real? *Pokes Obi-Wan's cheek*  
  
Obi-Wan, annoyed: YES! MAAAAAAASTER! Help!!  
  
Tina proceeds in poking Obi-Wan's cheek, and Qui-Gon's ghost was pointing and laughing.  
  
Leah: OOOOOOOOOBIIIIII!!!! *pouts*  
  
Obi-Wan's eyes grow REALLY wide, and he attempts to back away, but only succeeds in knocking himself and the chair over.  
  
Obi-Wan: Erm. a little help here?  
  
Anakin walks up to Tina, and puts one arm over her protectively.  
  
Anakin: *sniffs* When was the last time you took a shower, Master? Your feet really reek! Hey! Reek! Like that evil cow thingy I fought! One time.. *Rambles on*  
  
Obi-Wan: HEY! It's not my fault! I have sensitive feet, it hurts to wash them, so.. *shrugs* I have never washed them.  
  
Leia suddenly awakens.  
  
Dazed Leia: Obi-Wan, did I just hear you say that.. You..you.. you never.. Bathe?  
  
Obi-Wan, defensively: I do to! Just... not recently.  
  
Everybody's eyes grow really wide. Tina's start to pop out of her head, but Anakin catches them.  
  
Anakin, still holding one of Tina's eyes: Ping pong, any one? *sniggers*  
  
Tina: *Takes eye back and puts in socket* Anakin, that's not nice!  
  
Yoda: Learn, you must.. *cackles*  
  
Vader: *groans* This is what left such emotional scars! *cries* NOT AGAIN!!!! NOOOOOOOOO! *faints*  
  
Obi-Wan: YAY! Now I get the dress! *Somehow manages to use the Force to bring the dress over and put it on, yet still can't manage to get out of the chair.  
  
Qui-Gon's ghost: HEEEY! YOU GOT THAT OUT OF MY CLOSET! *cries*  
  
Obi-Wan: *Cheesy Smile* Who. me?  
  
Obi-Wan's boots fall off. Tina runs over to smell his feet, while everybody but her and Anakin faint.  
  
Anakin: And I have to live with it! 


	3. Anakin is confused

After managing to get Obi-Wan's boots on without dying, Tina and Leah decided to play with Anakin's head a little.  
  
Tina: You aren't wearing any shoes!  
  
Anakin: *looks down* Yes I am!  
  
Leah: No you aren't.  
  
Anakin: What!? But.. but. I am!  
  
Tina: You are wearing no shoes!  
  
Anakin: But. these are.. Shoes..  
  
Leah: Shoes do not exist.  
  
Anakin: WHAT?!?  
  
Tina: You are wearing shoes!  
  
Anakin: STOP CONFUSING ME!!!! *runs at full speed into a tree and abruptly faints*  
  
Tina and Leah crack up, and Obi-Wan attempts to hold his calm, but fails miserably, laughing so hard he cried.  
  
Qui-Gon: *sigh* Obi-Wan, be nicer to your Padawan! Did I ever laugh at you?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes.  
  
Qui-Gon: Right! What. HEY! Name one time!!  
  
Obi-Wan: That time I got bubble gum stuck in my Padawan braid, the time I tripped in front of the whole Counsel, the time I forgot to wear my pants, the time I -  
  
Qui-Gon: Okay, okay!  
  
Tina: You get gum stuck in your Padawan braid? Happens to me all the time!  
  
Everyone: *stares*  
  
Anakin: *wakes up* I know, it's awful! One time, I was painting my toenails, and I accidentally stuck my braid into the nail polish!  
  
Leah: You paint your nails?  
  
Obi-Wan: So THAT'S why your braid was pink for awhile! HEY! You said that Tru accidentally spilled paint on you!!!  
  
Anakin : Hehehe.. Oh, did I say that?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes!  
  
Anakin: Erm.. *uses mind trick* You know nothing of pink braids!  
  
Obi-Wan: I know nothing of pink braids..  
  
Qui-Gon: *laughs*  
  
Obi-Wan: SEE! I TOLD you that you laugh! See? See? You all saw, right? He was laughing! I didn't imagine it, did I? AM I GOING CRAZY? *cries*  
  
Anakin: One by one, the penguins steal his sanity.  
  
Obi-Wan: WHAT'S A PENGUIN!?  
  
Leah: *stares*  
  
Tina: *Laughs*  
  
Anakin: I don't know..  
  
Tina: penguins are little black things that suck your sanity out! *insane laughter*  
  
Qui-Gon: And how long ago did the penguins visit you?  
  
Tina: oh, about thirteen years ago! Hey.. WAIT A MINUTE!! *ignites Anakin's lightsaber*  
  
Qui-Gon: AHH! *runs*  
  
Tina: *chases*  
  
Anakin: HEY! That is MY lightsaber!! *runs after Tina*  
  
Tina: I AM NOT INSANE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Leah: Yes you are!  
  
Tina: Oh. you're right. *stops* oh well! *continues chasing*  
  
Qui-Gon: AHHHHHHH!!!!!! HEEEEELP!!!!!  
  
Obi-Wan: *points and laughs*  
  
Qui-Gon: Why you little Sith!!! *ignites lightsaber and chases*  
  
Leah: *stares* Well, if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!  
  
Leah begins to chase after Anakin who is chasing after Tina who is chasing after Qui-Gon who is chasing after Obi-Wan.  
  
- - -- - - - - - - - I want to thank ANYBODY who has reviewed! I luv ya lots!! *huggles* If you review me, I will review you from now on! 


	4. Assassin bottles

Tina looked at Obi-Wan.  
  
Tina: Wow, how did you manage to run while still in your chair?  
  
Obi-Wan: *looks down* I dunno! Hmmmm... *attempts to think*  
  
Qui-Gon: *groans* Please don't make him think! He'll never be able to figure it out!  
  
Anakin: Ugh, tell me about it!  
  
Obi-Wan: HEY! I'm not that ditzy!  
  
Leah: *coughs* Riiiight..  
  
Obi-Wan: WAAAAAAAH! *cries*  
  
Tina: *laughs*  
  
Anakin: ..I'm thirsty!  
  
Leah: Me too!  
  
Tina: Yeah! Who's in for some Clearly Canadians? *takes a bunch of Clearly Canadians out of Seemingly Endless Robe Pocket * (A/N: Clearly Canadians are Leah and my favorite drink!)  
  
Obi-Wan: WHOO! My fave!  
  
Tina: What does this remind me of?  
  
Leah: *laughs* ASSASSIN BOTTLE!  
  
Everyone looks at Tina and Leah  
  
Qui-Gon: What's an Assassin Bottle?  
  
Tina and Leah look at eachother, and crack up.  
  
Tina: Well, one time, we each got one of these, and mine fizzed allover my hand..  
  
Leah: So I was teasing her about it, and I had already taken a drink..  
  
Tina: So she was telling me about a time hers' had fizzed on the bus..  
  
Leah: I had set mine down about fifteen seconds ago, and all of a sudden, like it was timed, mine exploded!  
  
Tina: Literally! The cap blew off! It was amusing!  
  
Obi-Wan: *stares untrustingly at his bottle*  
  
Qui-Gon: *pokes Obi-Wan's bottle*  
  
Anakin: Okay, I don't think it's gonna explode!  
  
Tina: It would have about.. *looks at watch* 0.00000003 seconds ago!  
  
Suddenly, Obi-Wan's bottle explodes!  
  
Everyone: AHHHHHHH!!!!! DUCK!!!! ASSASSIN BOTTLE!!!!  
  
In a poof of Clearly Canadian, Padmé appeared!!! *Dah, dah, dah! Evil music!*  
  
Anakin: *screams like a girl*  
  
Vader: *screams like a foot*  
  
Obi-Wan: *screams like a microphone*  
  
Qui-Gon: *screams like a pencil*  
  
Shmi: *screams like a book*  
  
Yoda: *Screams backwards*  
  
Luke: *screams like a hairbrush*  
  
Leia: *screams like a keychain*  
  
Leah: *Screams like a paperclip*  
  
Padmé: I'm all sticky!  
  
Anakin: Hey. wait a minute.. Do paperclips scream?  
  
Leah: yes.  
  
Tina: *glares at Padmé* HE'S MINE!  
  
Padmé: Who is?  
  
Anakin: *whistles and looks away*  
  
Tina: Anakin!  
  
Anakin: *groans*  
  
Padmé: NO!!!! He is MINE!  
  
Tina: MINE!  
  
Padmé: MINE!  
  
Tina: MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEE!!!! *runs at Padmé with Anakin's lightsaber in hand*  
  
Padmé: Oh no, you don't! *ignites a.. pen?!* Oops.. Wrong item.. *throws* Hmm.. *looks in pocket and throws random objects she got out of it in the air*  
  
Anakin: HEY! My hair brush!!  
  
Padmé: Hehehe.. *hides behind Leah*  
  
Anakin: Grrrr! *throws Clearly Canadian bottle at Padmé*  
  
Padmé: ASSASSIN BOTTLE!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
The bottle lands by Padmé, and she disappears with the bottle.  
  
Everyone: YAY! 


	5. When Jedi sing

Now that Padmé was gone, everyone was bored.  
  
Anakin: I'm bored.  
  
Leah: me too.  
  
Tina: Ditto.  
  
Obi-Wan: *sings* WE COULD BE HEEEEEERRRROOOOEEEESSSSS!!!!  
  
Everyone: *stares*  
  
Obi-Wan: *still singing* Just for ooooooneee daaaaaayyyy!!!  
  
Qui-Gon: YAY! *sings* You.. You will be meeeaaan!!  
  
Obi-Wan: *giggly singing* No, I won't!  
  
Qui-Gon: *Singing* and I.. I'll drink all the time!!  
  
Obi-Wan: *singing* WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOO-  
  
Tina: STOP!!! STOP!!!! *rocks back and fourth covering eyes*  
  
Anakin: *looks horrified* MMM! *twitches*  
  
Yoda: *dances* Good, that was!  
  
Leah: *sings* Weeee caaaan't do thaaaaaat!!  
  
Tina: NOO! *runs over and clamps a hand over Leah's mouth* Do NOT get them started!!  
  
Obi-Wan: WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOOOVERS!!! And that's a fact!  
  
Anakin: Mmmm!!! *shudders*  
  
Vader: *sings* No nothing, will keep us TOGEEEEETHER!!!  
  
Tina: STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!!! *runs off screaming 'STOP!!' on top of lungs*  
  
Anakin: *Fetal position* I am SCARRED for LIFE!!!  
  
Obi-Wan: *does Cancan and sings* 'Cause we Can-can-can!!'  
  
Anakin: STOP!!!!!!! *runs after Tina screaming "I DIDN'T HEAR IT!!!!"*  
  
Shmi: *blinks* Well.. That's not something I want to see again! *shudders*  
  
Leah: Wait. Obi-Wan, how did you manage to do the Cancan while tied up?  
  
Obi-Wan: I am talented!  
  
Leah: No, you're not! Look what I can do! *eats a whole can of Cheese Whiz*  
  
Obi-Wan: Whoa.. *eyes grow wide*  
  
Vader: Hey! Let's have a talent show!!!  
  
Tina and Anakin come running back  
  
Tina: YEAH!!!  
  
Anakin: WHOO!  
  
...a few hours later  
  
There is a very. hand made stage, with curtains. Audiences of Ewoks sit in the chairs before the stage, and the judges were Mace Windu, Casey Conner (From 'The Faculty'), and little Anakin from TPM. The curtains pull, and Shmi is holding a microphone and a piece of paper.  
  
Shmi: Our first talent will be presented by Yoda! Yoda will be. doing a rap!!  
  
The audience cheers, claps, and yubs. The Curtain is drawn again, and Yoda is standing by the microphone. But he is a lot shorter than the it, so he snaps his fingers, and Tina pushes out a pair of high-heeled platforms. Yoda happily puts them on.  
  
Yoda: Sunscreen, good. No sunscreen, bad! Rest of advice, based on years of Jedi Teaching experience, yes! This advice, I dispense, now!  
  
Rappish music begins to play in background.  
  
Yoda: *singing while dancing* Enjoy, the power, and beauty of da Force.  
  
Audience: Boo!!!! Yub!!! *throws Assassin Bottles*  
  
Yoda: AHH! Assassin Bottles!! *runs*  
  
Shmi comes back on stage  
  
Shmi: Okay.. Judges.. What do you give Yoda da Rapist?  
  
Mace Windu: He like, totally sucked! Ya know! *chews gum noisily* I give him a 2!  
  
Casey Conner: well, he has potential, and was an amusing subject to photograph, and he didn't have any aliens in his head.. *gulps* I hope.. So I'll give him a 4!  
  
Audience: BOO! YUB!  
  
Casey: *shrugs* Fine, a three.  
  
Little Anakin: I think he was cool! I wish I could rap like that!! So I give him a 7!  
  
Audience: Aww! Yub!!!  
  
Shmi: Okay.. Yoda averages out to a 4.1!  
  
Audience: Um. Yub!?  
  
Shmi: yeah.. okay.. Next is Anakin..  
  
Little Anakin: WHAT!?  
  
Shmi: um. OLDER Anakin! And he will be.. Modeling!!  
  
Anakin walks out wearing a trench coat.  
  
Audience: *stares*  
  
Anakin pulls of trench coat, revealing a puffy winter jacket, and even puffier winter snow pants. The music 'So Sexy!' plays in background.  
  
Anakin: This is my winter wear! It can bear even the harshest snows of Hoth!  
  
He pulls of winter wear to reveal a belly shirt and hip hugger blue jeans.  
  
Anakin: This is my trendy wear! Irresistible to even the worst Anakin- haters there are!  
  
Audience: ..Yub?  
  
He pulls of his trendy wear. Underneath is a skimpy bikini top and boy-cut bottom.  
  
Anakin: This is my swim wear! Any sex can wear this! Because of the top and the boy-cutness of the bottom, it won't reveal!  
  
Audience: *blinks*  
  
Anakin: And.. Yeah. *goes backstage again*  
  
Shmi: Um. that was. interesting. Judges?  
  
Mace: I would like, look totally better in that belly shirt than him like, any day! So I give him like, a 4, for ugliness!  
  
Little Anakin: HEY!  
  
Casey Conner: It was okay, at first, but after the winter wear, it just got.. Disturbing. So I'll have to give him a 5.  
  
Little Anakin: I was HOT! So. 10!!  
  
Audience: *is scarred for life* Yub..? *twitch*  
  
Anakin runs back on stage  
  
Anakin: AHH! IT'S MINI ME!!!!  
  
Little Anakin: AHH! IT'S. um. NOT-SO-MINI ME!  
  
Shmi: Erm.. Yeah. so, average is 6.1!  
  
Anakin: WHOO! AHH! *gets shoved offstage*  
  
Shmi: yeah.. *coughs* Next and last will be. oh NO! A duet between Obi-Wan and Vader!?! That's just.. wrong! *shudder*  
  
Vader and Obi-Wan walk on. Vader is wearing the pink fluffy dress again, and Obi-Wan is wearing a suit.  
  
Obi-Wan: *singing* Never knew, I could feeeeeeel like this! Like I've never seen the skyyyyyy before. Wanna vanish, inside your kiss, everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heeeeart can you heeeeeeeaaaaar it sings..  
  
..A few minutes later  
  
Both Vader and Obi: COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY!!!! COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY! IIII WIIIIILLLL LOOOOOVE YOOOOU! UNTILLLL MY DYYYYYIIIIIINNNNG DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!  
  
Audience: *is shuddering and twitching* YUB! WAAAAH!  
  
Shmi: Um.. Um.. *shudder* yeah... judges?  
  
Mace: *chew gum* I am speechless.. *faints*  
  
Casey: *whines* um. 3, whatever! LEMME OUT OF HEAR! *runs*  
  
Little Anakin: I NEVER want to here my soon-to-be Master sing again! So.. A 1!  
  
Shmi: Well, that averages out to 2! Anakin is our Winner! I need to go now.. Bye! *faints*  
  
...a few hours later  
  
the stage is gone, and so is the audience. Anakin is holding a hand made trophy, and modeling his Jedi Robes.  
  
Tina: Hey, Anakin, let's do a duet!  
  
Anakin: Okay!!  
  
Tina: I was meant for lovin' you baby you were meant for lovin' me!  
  
Leah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Tina: FINE! *pouts* 


	6. QuiGon likes cream soda

Obi-Wan was sitting in his chair, forcing his Padawan to be his footrest.  
  
Anakin: MASTER! Can I have a break? My back is getting tired, and you're feet really smell!  
  
Obi-Wan: If I have to be tied up, the least you can do for me is rest my feet!  
  
Anakin: But..but..I didn't tie you up!  
  
Obi-Wan: So? I have long hair, therefore I should be in charge! *smiles*  
  
Anakin: So what? I have a braid, therefore I should be in charge!  
  
Obi-Wan: No, I should!  
  
Anakin: Me!  
  
Obi-Wan: Me!  
  
Anakin: MEEE!  
  
Obi-Wan: MEE-  
  
Leah: STOP!!!  
  
Tina: In case you forget, I'm in charge!  
  
Leah: WHAT!?  
  
Tina: *nods* I'm the Leo!  
  
Leah: So? I'm the Le-Ah!!!!  
  
While Tina and Leah argue, Anakin stands up, causing Obi-Wan to fall down in his chair.  
  
Obi-Wan: Not again *groans* Who's gonna help me up?  
  
Tina and Leah look at Obi-Wan, and then at eachother.  
  
Tina: *in a false sweet voice* We'll help you up!  
  
Obi-Wan: Um... thanks?  
  
Tina and Leah straighten the chair.  
  
Obi-Wan: YAY! I'm not upside downside rightside down!  
  
Anakin: *attempts to comprehend* I am SO confused!!  
  
Yoda: *giggles* Young Skywalker is confused!  
  
Everyone: *Stares*  
  
Tina: Hey, Obi-Wan, why did you grow your hair out?  
  
Obi-Wan: Well, if it was still short, I'd look like... *shudder* Anakin!  
  
Anakin: HEY! I am HOT, and you were NOT!  
  
Obi-Wan: Yes I was! Ask any rabid fan girl! *pulls random fan girl out of his pocket*  
  
Anakin: I have rabid fan girls, too! *Grabs Tina* Um... Tina... Why are you holding scissors?  
  
Tina: Oh, just because I am going to.. *grabs a handful of Obi-Wan's hair* CUT OBI'S HAIR!!  
  
Obi-Wan: AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Anakin: Wee! Fun! Can I help?  
  
Tina: Sure!  
  
Soon, everyone besides Obi-Wan was cutting poor Obi's hair.  
  
Obi-Wan: Master Yoda!? Vader?! Shmi!? MASTER!?!?  
  
Everyone: *snips*  
  
After an hour, Obi-Wan's hair is raggedy, and completely gone in the patches Anakin was cutting at.  
  
Anakin: *Uses the Force to make Obi-Wan fall asleep* Okay, now, lets bring out more makeup!  
  
Tina: YEAH! The old makeup has come off by now!  
  
Tina works at the remaining bit of his hair, tying millions of ponytails using little bows. Anakin helps. Leah is giving him bright pink eyeshadow, and smearing it all the way to his forehead. Yoda was giving poor Obi bright green lipstick, grimed all over his mouth and chin.  
  
Anakin: *sniggers and gets out some clothes* Should he wear the purple and green striped mini skirt and the red and orange halter top?  
  
Tina: *giggles*  
  
Leah: Yeah!! Take him, and. go dress him!  
  
Anakin: WHAT!? Why ME!?  
  
Qui-Gon: Because you're his Padawan!  
  
Anakin: You were his Master, why don't you?  
  
Qui-Gon: Because I'm a ghost!  
  
Anakin: Humph! *drags Obi-Wan into a random room*  
  
Shrieks of horror are heard! A few minutes later, an extremely pale Anakin emerges, dragging a now dressed up Obi-Wan behind him.  
  
Everyone: *laughs at Obi-Wan*  
  
Anakin: You know he wears a THONG!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Leah: Really? *lifts Obi's skirt* Ooh. he does! Hehehe!  
  
Tina: Aww.. Poor Anakin! *hugs*  
  
Obi-Wan: *wakes up* Huh? What? *looks down* WHAT AM I WEARING!?!  
  
Anakin: Um..  
  
Tina: You have a concert to sing.... and.. um... you have to imitate.... Hmm.. somebody with awful fashion sense..  
  
Leah: BRITTANY SPEARS!  
  
Everyone: AAAAHHHH!! MUST YOU SPEAK THAT AWFUL WORD OUT LOUD?  
  
Leah: *smiles*  
  
Obi-Wan: I do???  
  
Tina: *Nods* here ya go! *plays music*  
  
Obi-Wan: NO!  
  
Leah: *pushes a button*  
  
Obi-Wan: *starts to dance and sing* OOPS I FARTED AGAAAAAAAAAIN! I DON'T KNOOOOOW THE REST OF THESE WOOORDS, BUT THIS SONG IS GAAAAAAY!  
  
Anakin: *records* PERFECT blackmail tape!  
  
Obi-Wan: *still singing* AAAAANAKIN, YOU BETTER NOOOOT! WHYYY CAN'T I STOP THIS GAAAAAAY SINGING AND DANCING?  
  
Everyone: *is cracked up by now*  
  
Leah: HEY! *pushes stop button*  
  
Obi-Wan: *stops* Phew! Thanks!  
  
Leah: How did you dance while tied in the chair?  
  
Obi-Wan: Anakin must have untied me when he dressed me!  
  
Anakin: How did you know it was me?  
  
Obi-Wan: Who else has such an awful fashion sense?  
  
Anakin: *offended* WAH!  
  
Tina: OBI ON THE LOOSE!!!  
  
Obi-Wan: I AM FREEEEEEE!!! WOO!  
  
Leah: Anakin! *hits over head with cardboard cutout of Elvis with pink hair* You *hits again* Stupid *hits again* Little *hits again* PADAWAN!!!!!!!  
  
Anakin: AAAAHHHH!!!! *hides behind Obi-Wan*  
  
Tina: LEAH!!!!!! LEMME HELP!  
  
The two girls attack the Jedi, while everyone else watches.  
  
Qui-Gon: Cream Soda.  
  
Everyone: *stops and stares*  
  
Qui-Gon: What?  
  
Everyone: *Shrugs and goes back to doing whatever they were doing*  
  
Vader: I like cheese.  
  
Everyone: *Stares*  
  
Vader: Especially the mushy kind between my toes.  
  
Tina: *pokes*  
  
Vader: *is silent for five minutes, and then suddenly screams, and runs around in circles*  
  
Obi-Wan: Umm. Ooookay..  
  
Vader: The Force is in the cheese!  
  
Tina: Cheese is ICKY!  
  
Anakin: Don't underestimate the power of the cheesy side!  
  
Qui-Gon: Cream soda is better!!!  
  
Vader: Not true!!  
  
Qui-Gon: yes!  
  
Anakin: No, cheese!  
  
Obi-Wan: Dried green beans!!!  
  
Tina: STRAWBERRIES! ..Wait.. DRIED green beans??  
  
Leah: Wait. how did we get to the discussion of food?  
  
Vader: *Shrugs* I was hungry! 


	7. To sexy for my insert random word

Tina: *looks at Obi-Wan* Hehe, Obi-Thong!  
  
Leah: Thongness of Obi!  
  
Obi-Wan: STOP TEASING ME! *glare of DEATH at Anakin*  
  
Anakin: WHAAAAT!? THEY MADE ME!  
  
Leah: That's right, *nods* we did!  
  
Tintin: *eyes grow wide* Does Anakin wear a thong?  
  
Anakin: I soo do not!  
  
Obi-Wan: Nah, he wears Speedos.  
  
Anakin: *nods and pulls down his pants* See? Aren't they pretty?  
  
Tina: *drools over his pink Speedos*  
  
Anakin: there are NOT pink! They're coral!  
  
Vader: Yeah! Coral rawks!  
  
Tina: Ookay.. Hehe, I don't wear a thong! ^^  
  
Anakin: *twitches*  
  
Leah: ENOUGH about underwear! *pulls a radio out*  
  
Anakin: *starts to sing along* I'm too sexy, for, my shirt, so sexy! *struggles to pull off his tunic*  
  
Obi-Wan: *sings along* I'm, too sexy, for, my. uh. sock! So sexy! *Yanks off one of his boots, and pulls at his sock, sending it flying across the room*  
  
Everyone: ATTACK OF THE STINKY SOCK! *ducks*  
  
Anakin: *still singing* I'm, too sexy, for, my. eh, my. *looks around* my nail polish! So sexy! *slowly scratches off his polish*  
  
Tina: *claps* WOO! Jedi duet! Lemme join! *sings* I'm, too sexy, for my. my earrings! So sexy! *Undoes earring back*  
  
Leah: God help me. *twitches*  
  
Tina: *Evil laugh*  
  
Vader: *uses Force to turn radio off*  
  
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Tina stop stripping, and look around.  
  
Vader: *smiles* Good.  
  
Leah: Eee, thanks!!  
  
Vader: moo.  
  
Everyone: *Stares*  
  
Anakin: Hehe, Evil Cow Thing!  
  
Vader: I am like, SO not a Reek!  
  
Anakin: Wait. right, because if you were a Reek, than I would be one that you could be because Obiness likes to wear Reek pictures on his thongs.  
  
Tina: I actually got that. whoa, that scares me!  
  
Leah: *scratches Tina's head*  
  
Tina: *Bites*  
  
Leah: IT BIT ME!!! *Ties Tina to chair*  
  
Tina: Tied-down-ness! *starts to gnaw on rope*  
  
Leah: UGH! How did I get stuck with a defected Padawan!?  
  
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan: Tell me about it.  
  
Obi-Wan: HEY! I was never a bad Padawan!  
  
Qui-Gon: yes you were! I can't even COUNT the times you pantsed me in public!!!  
  
Obi-Wan: I only did that twelve times!  
  
Qui-Gon: Shut up!  
  
Obi-Wan: *sticks tongue out*  
  
Leah: *dives into PIE!*  
  
Tina: *unties self and eats rope*  
  
Anakin: *sniffs his underarm*  
  
Vader: *sits down and starts to knit*  
  
Leah: *looks around* Our author is weird.  
  
Tina: NO she's NOT! Just a little.. Eccentric!  
  
Leah: *rolls eyes* Same thing!  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Sorry this one is so short! I was out of ideas, lol! 


	8. Nankin' smells CORN! Oh wait that was Qu...

Tina: *dances around the chair she was previously tied to and sings* Insanity is of the cougar! And he had a big balloon! Poor thing... because it was REEEEDDD!!!!  
  
Leah: *smacks Tina upside the head*  
  
Tina: EVIL BOB OF MASTERNESS! *chases*  
  
Leah: *throws Anakin across the room* Come on girl! Fetch!!  
  
Anakin: AAAAAAHHHHHH *smack*  
  
Tina: ANA NANNA NAKAKA NANAKIN!!! *chases*  
  
Obi-Wan: Nanakin? *laughs so hard he begins to squeak*  
  
Qui-Gon: Oh, shut up Wobi-Won.  
  
Obi-Wan: I WAS SEVEN!!!! GIVEME A BREAK!!  
  
Qui-Gon: *has a serious face for about three seconds, then cracks into a really cheesy grin* I smell corn! *floats away*  
  
Mace: Corn? CORN? I DON'T GET IT! *breaks down into tears*  
  
Leah: There, there. *pats his back*  
  
Mace: *stops crying and gives Leah an adoring smile*  
  
Leah: *starts licking his head* Mmm... pie!  
  
Mace: MY HEAD IS NOT PIE!! Pie is NOT shiney, and my head IS shiney, therefore it's NOT PIE!  
  
Tina: *comes running back with Anakin AKA Nanakin in her pocket Anakin makes a large bulge in her pocket. And I mean LARGE! *  
  
Anakin: *Sticks his head out of Tina's pocket* Hi!  
  
Everyone: *stares*  
  
Yoda: Insane he is.  
  
Vader and Anakin together: WE ARE NOT INSANE!!!  
  
Tina: Compared to me, no.  
  
Leah: I know what we should do!  
  
Everyone: *stares frightenedly*  
  
Tina: Oh God, she has that LOOK! *twitch*  
  
Leah: We should have an insanity contest! To see who's more insane!  
  
Tina: But.. we ALL know I'm the most insane!!  
  
Anakin: NO! I'm more insane ANY DAY!  
  
Obi-Wan: Son of a Sith ear! I'm the oddest!  
  
Mace: No need for cussing, young Kenobi.  
  
Obi-Wan: Who ya calling YOUNG? Baldie!  
  
Mace: OH! Bring it on!  
  
***Mace and Obi-Wan start circling eachother and then begin to bitch slap eachother***  
  
Tina: *Stares* wow...  
  
Leah: Yeah.. wow.  
  
Tina: So.. Anyone want pie?  
  
Leah: YEAH!  
  
Everyone: *sits around a table that seemingly appeared out of nowhere and eats pie*  
  
Mace and Obi: *continue fighting*  
  
Tina: Like... PIEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Yoda: *stands on table and begins to do the Macarena* 


End file.
